


Star-Crossed

by DRHPaints



Category: Actor RPF, American (US) Actor RPF, Barry (TV 2018), Bill Hader - Fandom, Bill Hader RPF, US Comedians RPF
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Disorder, Cunnilingus, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff, Masturbation, Mutual Pining, One Shot, Press and Tabloids, Smut, Social Media, Talk Shows, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:14:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27529786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DRHPaints/pseuds/DRHPaints
Summary: When Hollywood starlet Natalie McElroy confesses during her interview with Conan that she finds Bill incredibly sexy, he's flattered and thrown off kilter. Flustered when no one will stop bothering him about it, Bill secretly develops a crush of his own.
Relationships: Bill Hader/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 27





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> Requested by anon x. Let me know what you think! Hope you enjoy!

Blowing over the surface of his mug of chamomile, Bill snapped up his Saunders’ book and camped on the couch, tucking a muscular leg beneath himself and sipping comfortably. As he perused the third page, Bill heard a distant buzzing and scoffed, annoyed that he left his phone on the kitchen table and had to get up when he was cozily ensconced.

Bill peeked at the screen as he padded back to the living room, opening the text notification.

Conan: _Obviously you watch my show every night, so I’m sure I don’t need to tell you this. But if I were you, I’d tune in for tonight’s episode. Just a suggestion._

Grinning, Bill furrowed his dark eyebrows as his thumbs moved over the keyboard.

Bill: _Ha. Any particular reason?_

Conan: _I think it’s better if you find out for yourself._

Curious, Bill set an alarm and tossed his phone aside, sinking into the novel and snuggling up on the couch. 

Blaring noise startling him out of what Bill thought was a pleasant dream as the book flopped off his firm chest and onto the floor, for a minute he couldn’t comprehend why he programmed his phone to wake him at night before remembering Conan’s cryptic message.

Bill turned on TBS and as per usual, giggled endlessly at Conan’s monologue and antics before he came back from commercial.

“Now my first guest,” Conan began, crossing his long legs. “Is known for such movies as _‘Lunchbox Crew,’ ‘Ascending Oblivion,_ ’ and _‘March to Nod_ ,’ and she can be seen in the upcoming HBO series, _‘Mind Games._ ’ Please welcome: Natalie McElroy!”

Strolling out in a figure flattering purple dress, Natalie waved to the audience before embracing Conan and taking the seat opposite him. Bill was familiar with her work, particularly impressed by her tragic and compelling performance during _March to Nod_ in which, despite her status as one of the glittering Hollywood starlets, Natalie went full horrorshow, hair dank and skin sickly as she portrayed a woman ravaged by the effects of paranoid schizophrenia. Of course now, tossing her main of crimson waves back as the applause (and not a few whistles) of the audience died down, she was polished to perfection as she leaned into Conan with a smile.

“Good to see you, Natalie. Thanks for coming.” 

Nodding, Natalie adjusted one of her spaghetti straps. “Yeah, thanks for having me. I’m excited. I’ve always wanted to come on your show.”

“Oh yeah?” Conan’s faint orange eyebrow ticked up. “And why is that?”

“Oh well…” Grinning, Natalie clutched a hand to her chest. “Obviously, like everyone I think you’re hilarious, but…” Biting a blood red lip, she slid her eyes to Conan mischievously. “You’re also pretty foxy, so that doesn’t hurt.”

Bill chuckled as he watched Conan’s pale skin go a violent shade of pink. _If he seriously texted me so I could watch some hottie flirt with him, I am going to roast him so bad…_

“Well, thank you, but…” Holding his left hand aloft, Conan indicated his ring. “Unfortunately, for my wife’s sake at least, I’m married.”

Sighing audibly, Natalie tilted her head. “Yeah…lucky lady.”

Closing his eyes, Conan laughed and shook his head. “Well, anyway...this new show, _Mind Games._ I heard the concept and I have to say, it sounds fascinating. You’re playing a psychologist, right?”

“That’s right.” Natalie bobbed her head, crossing her hands over her knee. “I play Amelia Henry, a psychologist who gets caught up in the world of BDSM and begins to use the techniques she learns in her sexual exploits to deal with her patients.”

“Ooh…” Corners of his thin lips turned down in appraisal, Conan nodded. “And this is on HBO, right? So...can we assume things will get pretty steamy?”

Natalie smiled coyly, raising a shoulder. “Maybe...but, honestly…” Touching her tongue to her teeth, she shifted in her seat and looked away. “Working with HBO is just all part of my elaborate plan to get at that hot piece Bill Hader.”

 _Wait...what?_ Pulling his head back, Bill blinked in surprise as Conan laughed, clutching his chest. “Oh yeah? You like Bill, huh?”

“Oh my * _bleep_ *...” Natalie dragged a palm down her face, eyes fluttering back in her head and plump lips parting with a groan. “He might be the sexiest man on the planet. 10/10 would bang. Ultimate thirst trap. Total smokeshow.” Bill covered his giggling mouth with his fingers, shaking his head as Conan and the audience composed themselves. Bringing a hand to her brow, Natalie chuckled. “I...probably shouldn’t have said that.”

“Well…” Conan held his palms aloft, mouth a flat line and bobbing his head slowly. “Bill. Here I thought a beautiful woman thought I was attractive and…”

Smirking, Natalie gave his arm a consoling squeeze. “What can I say? I just have a thing for tall, blue eyed comedy men with no ass.” Bursting out laughing, Bill rocked back and forth on the cushion, slapping his knee. For the rest of the interview Natalie discussed her upcoming project, as well as an amusing anecdote in which she was riding with a costar who was pulled over for speeding, the cop agreeing to let them go on the condition that she do a word-for-word rendition of a scene from _Lunchbox Crew,_ insisting he play her romantic interest even though he, apparently, didn’t know any of the lines.

Show ending, Bill smiled as he turned off the TV, scooped up his book and went to bed. Turning on ‘do not disturb,’ Bill tried reading for a while, but his mind wandered from the normally immersive text. 

_She was probably just trying to be funny. A lot of people know Conan is my buddy and she probably knew it would get him going._ But as Bill stared blankly at the page, not absorbing a word, he reflected on what Natalie said, her expressions, and that explanation crumpled. Natalie seemed genuine, if a bit silly, in her interest, and the idea flabbergasted him.

Natalie McElroy was a _movie star_ , after all. Try as he might, Bill never thought of himself in those terms. Bill was simply the goofy dude called upon to sling ridiculous voices and impressions who fortunately stumbled into creating his own vehicle for a premium network, allowing him to venture into the expansive dramatic territories he longed after for years.

But the idea of a woman like that? Lusting after him? Preposterous. Bill gave up on reading, not especially tired after his nap, but flipping off the light in hopes he would be able to catch enough sleep before his morning meeting. Staring at the ceiling in darkness, Natalie’s laugh echoed through Bill’s mind and a wide grin blossomed over his pink lips. It was practically a cackle. Almost obnoxious. In a cute way. Tossing her scarlet tresses back, her eyes scrunching, mouth agape as she crossed her arms in front of herself and folded forward.

Bill’s brain prompted him with how that image just so happened to expose her ample cleavage and Bill shifted beneath the blanket, blinking. That purple dress was...tight. And short. And her legs were...those creamy legs looked like they would be incredibly smooth beneath his large hands. Cock twitching, Bill looked around the room as though he might get caught before timidly sneaking his fingers below the waistband of his boxers and allowing his cobalt eyes to fall closed.

Palming himself to stiffness, Bill reflected on Natalie’s sparkling green eyes, those curvaceous red lips, picturing her warm mouth wrapping around his hard cock as he tugged himself, breathing heavy and gritting his teeth.

Then Bill thought about what might be under that purple dress (his brain decided, nothing) and bunching the skirt at her waist, fisting a hand in those auburn tresses and fucking her into the floor until Natalie screamed his name. Rolling over in bed, Bill humped the warm circle of his fist, moaning into the pillow, toes scrambling until he clawed at the bed with a groan, cum sprinkling onto the sheets and shuddering.

Taking a deep inhale through his nose, Bill shifted aside to avoid the stain, pulling up his boxers, soothed muscles melting into the mattress. As sleep claimed him, Bill’s dreams were awash with smiling emerald eyes and laughing crimson lips.

***

Waking early, Bill drank a glass of water and started the coffee brewing, chomping into a banana before he glanced at his phone. _13 messages? What the fuck?_ Immediately Bill panicked, assuming someone died, or was hurt, but when he opened the first one, a violent shade of pink scuttled up his neck and made a home around his sharp cheekbones.

Seth R.: _Man, did you see Conan? That megafox wants you bad, Hader. Nice._

John: _I don’t know if I should tell you to watch, or avoid, the newest episode of Conan, but, I know you, Bill. You’re going to be embarrassed._

Andy: _Nat McElroy on Conan tonight talking about you. You should check it out. Trust me. Met her doing Seth’s show a couple of months ago and she’s really cool._

Scrolling through, all were along those lines and Bill sighed heavily, deciding to leave any replies he might make for later before jumping in the shower and heading out to his meeting.

***

Later that week, Bill tipped back the last of his bottle of water as they completed storyboarding for the next episode, stretching his firm arms aloft and cracking his neck from side to side.

“Hey,” Duffy stood, packing up his shoulder bag. “You guys going to check out that _Mind Games_ show?”

Nodding, Alec pointed. “Oh yeah, first episode is tonight right? That looks really good.”

“Bill…” Flicking his eyes in his direction, Duffy grinned. “Are you going to watch?” As one of his oldest friends, Duffy teased him mercilessly since he saw the interview, sending him collages people on the internet made of him and Natalie together, posts screaming for the two of them to hook up, and one video of her looped and auto tuned into a song that was so cringe-inducing that upon hearing it Bill wanted to evaporate.

“Oh, is that tonight?” Sapphire eyes shifting, Bill cleared his throat. Bill knew damn well it was airing that night at nine. DVR set and evening free, Bill watched the trailer more times than he was proud of and even pondered slyly asking around to see if he could view it early, considering their network connection, but was ultimately too embarrassed. “Yeah. Maybe...”

Planting himself on the couch, Bill checked the time, fingers tapping his thick thigh as he waited for the show to start. As the opening credits unfurled, part of Bill observed for Natalie, but he also relished applying his exacting cinephilic eye to a fresh offering, teasing apart the plot, the characters, the writing, the cinematography as he rested a rough cheek on his fist and settled in.

Bill was enraptured. Aside from the fact that Natalie was stunning and her performance nuanced, the show had a hook, and Bill could tell it would win over audiences with its mixture of intrigue, darkness, poignancy, and sex. 

As was the custom with much of HBO’s programming, typically if a series included sex scenes, they crammed a generous helping into the first installment in the hopes of addicting new viewers. 

Cock thickening beneath his shorts as Natalie disrobed, Bill was resolute in finishing the episode before doing anything about the erection that strained below his navel by the time her erotic encounter came to an end. Besides, it wasn’t as if Bill hadn’t seen her naked before. In the last week Bill spent more time than he was willing to admit watching the entirety of her filmography, stumbling across a nude Natalie in an obscure indie flick from before she hit it big. The movie was decent, pacing rather slow but the story was solid. Though perhaps it merely seemed long because of the shameful amount of times Bill rewound that particular scene…

As soon as the credits rolled, Bill backtracked, cumming hard and fast as he projected onto the man Natalie enthusiastically rode. Putting himself away, Bill cleaned up and went to bed, ideas of Natalia’s lustful form taunting until sleep claimed him.

***

_Ugh, how could I be so fucking stupid?_ Hitting her head against the back of the door, Natalie kicked off her heels, aching to get out of the uncomfortable dress and into pajamas. Why did she say all of those things about Bill Hader on national fucking television? Why wasn’t there some kind of roadblock between her brain and her mouth when inappropriate thoughts burbled into Natalie’s mind? _Why?_

But Natalie knew why. This wasn’t the first time anxiety left her kicking herself after an interview. And, with Conan in particular, Natalie’s nerves were shredded to ribbons as she strolled out before that studio audience. After crushing on him for years her brain pingponged mercilessly, sweating so profusely Natalie sent up a silent thanks to the gods of pancake makeup for hiding her obvious fear.

People never believed her when Natalie told them she got anxious doing press. Or award shows. Or leaving the house. Everyone said, “Oh, you look so comfortable! So natural!” But inside Natalie was a screaming, tearing goblin hammering at the walls of her consciousness and begging for attention, telling her to fidget, to pace, whispering of everything that might possibly go wrong. And so Natalie blurted. She didn’t intend it, but Natalie revved up to the verge of mania, often coming off zany when questioned. But this... 

Natalie flopped onto her bed, shoving her face in the pillow with a groan. This was a next level fuck up. It wasn’t a huge mystery as to why Bill popped into her brain and tumbled out of her mouth. After bingeing _Barry_ . And _Documentary Now!_ And maybe all eight of his seasons on _Saturday Night Live._ Twice. Natalie’s crush was a tad rampant, but she couldn’t help herself. Sure, Bill was hot. But honestly Natalie encountered a plethora of so-called gorgeous men in her daily life and they did nothing to tickle her libido. 

But a man who could make Natalie laugh until she quite literally fell on the floor (she nearly cracked her head on her coffee table) breathless, with tears streaming down her face? That got her attention. Then she sought out Bill’s other work. Watching _The Skeleton Twins_ and weeping, coming away awed by his multifaceted performance. Despite her distaste for horror, Natalie checked out _It: Chapter Two,_ and sobbed even harder. A full blown infatuation bloomed as Natalie perused Bill’s interviews in her limited down time, finding him not only to be amusing and charming, but also eloquent, engaging, and brilliant.

Now though, Natalie rolled over in bed, biting her lip. What if Bill heard what she said about him? Not at HBO long, Natalie wasn’t entirely sure, but she figured they probably had company-wide events on occasion. Some vague corner of her brain recalled Bill discussing a screening for an episode of _Game of Thrones_ . What if she ran into him? How mortifying. Bill, from all appearances, was a sweet, humble man who would probably find her crazy. _Great. Just great, Nat._

But a secret part of Natalie hoped maybe, just maybe, Bill wouldn’t _hate_ the things she said. Not for the first time, Natalie’s imagination whirred, thoughts of those huge hands ( _Seriously? How were Bill’s hands so damn big? It was criminal)_ moving over her skin, all the things he could do with that sturdy ass jaw…

Toes uncurling and shaking, Natalie extracted her shining fingers from her panties, breathing hard and swallowing. Turning off the light, she tugged the blanket over herself with a frustrated sigh. _Damn it, Bill…_

***

The next month was torturous. Conan was among the first stops on her press tour for _Mind Games_ and, with many of the following interviews, people asked her about Bill. Trying to be light, casual, Natalie brushed it off, saying, “ _Yeah, he’s pretty sexy. Anyway…_ ” and doing whatever she could to change the subject. 

Social media was a firestorm. According to her agent, at least. Natalie learned to cut ties with that noise long ago, having no interest in whether or not she was ‘trending.’ But her friend Holly had an account on every conceivable platform, cruelly taunting Natalie with a photo of herself, heart-shaped pictures of Bill pasted over her eyes, a multitude of fan made photoshops, some of which Natalia was truly wowed by as, if she didn’t know better, she would truly think an image existed in the world of her with Bill Hader’s arm around her shoulders, and a video of her interview laced with some of Bill’s scenes from _Trainwreck_ making it look as though he were proclaiming his love for her that left Natalie vaguely nauseous.

Arriving home, Natalie cast off her clothes in favor of a faded tee and gym shorts, snagging an apple and picking up where she left off in her Lafferty novel. Effectively submerged in the story, Natalie grimaced when her phone buzzed, irritated that she forgot to put on ‘do not disturb,’ but, interrupted, figured she might as well check.

Holly: _Okay, I know I’ve been bothering you a lot lately, but you HAVE to watch this one. They ask him about YOUUUU!!! <3<3<3 _

Clicking on the attachment led her to a YouTube video entitled: _Bill Hader Discusses Season 3 of Barry._ Bill sat across from a smartly dressed interviewer, legs crossed and feet clad in his signature white sneakers, looking beyond delicious in gray pants and a white shirt under a burnt sienna jacket. 

As with most of the interviews Natalia saw, Bill didn’t give away many details regarding the upcoming season of _Barry_ , but was amiable and entertaining, his giggle contagious as he politely answered questions Natalie, at least, heard him asked at least half a dozen times.

“So Bill…” The interviewer leaned in, interlacing her fingers. “Are you aware of Natalie McElroy? Did you see what she said about you on _Conan_?”

“Oh, um…” Smiling nervously, Bill shifted in his seat and Natalie noticed his fingers began their insatiable tapping. “Yeah...yeah, I...did.”

“So what did you think of what she said?”

Holding his wide palms aloft, Bill giggled, closing his eyes and shaking his head. “Um...very flattering. Yeah, she...she seems nice.”

“Well, the internet sure has a lot to say about it.” Uncrossing her legs, the interviewer chuckled. “People are shipping the two of you like crazy.”

“What...like Fed Ex?”

Natalie burst out laughing at Bill’s hopelessly confused expression as he tilted his head. The interviewer explained the concept to him and Bill’s prominent eyebrows shot up. “Oh...alright then.”

“What do you think of her, Bill? Do you find her attractive”

“Oh, um…” Mouth settling into a flat line, Bill shook his head. “I don’t really feel comfortable commenting on a woman I don’t know.”

Raising an eyebrow, the interviewer held out a hand. “Well, she talked about you.”

Bill chuckled, nodding. “Yeah, well...after generations, I feel like we men probably deserve a little objectification from time to time.”

Natalie grinned and even though it made her blush to hear Bill discussing her, she was grateful when the interviewer finally let the subject drop as Bill was so obviously uncomfortable. 

_Well, at least he didn’t say ‘keep that batshit lady away from me’ or anything._ Natalie figured, silencing her notifications before returning to her reading, a secret smile playing over her lips whenever she recalled Bill’s giggling face.


	2. 2

Award shows. Why, _why_ did Bill have to endure these tortures? Straightening his bowtie, smoothing over his lapel, Bill shifted from side to side against the wall. It would be bad enough if he merely had to sit in the audience, eating the free food after making his way through the battleground of the red carpet. Or if Bill was just nominated, he supposed he could handle that. On the off chance he won, the speeches left him shaking, but they were over quickly and weren’t guaranteed.

But whose idea was it that Bill was going to present an award? Not his. At least that he remembered as Bill stood backstage, shooting his fists toward the floor as he sifted over the so-called comedy he was meant to intone before the audience.

“Mr. Hader?” A short stage assistant wearing an earpiece approached him with a clipboard and Bill forced a smile.

“Yup.”

“It looks like you’re going to be presenting with…” Scanning down the page, the assistant pouted his lips. “Natalie McElroy.” Oceanic eyes widening, Bill pulled his head back. “She’s over there.” Gesturing over his shoulder, Bill followed the line of the assistant’s thumb and swallowed hard.

 _Fuck._ Hands clasped before her, Natalie was looking to the stage in a red backless satin gown slit up to her thigh, statuesque as her viridescent gaze slowly turned and alighted on Bill with a smile.

Bill froze as though she had him in sight of a rifle, unsure which direction to dodge before he blinked and his fingers fiddled at his thick thigh. _Well, it’s not going to get any less awkward if you keep standing here gawking at her._

Sidling over, Bill held a large hand aloft. “Hey…” Blood whooshing in his ears, Bill told himself to inhale, to exhale. _What are you so worried about? You know she likes you. She told the whole damn world. Relax._

“Hello.” Bobbing her head, Natalie wiggled her fingers at him, hoping her face wasn’t doing anything idiotic as she tried not to stare. A beat of silence passed and every thought her brain sent up for prospective conversation was more inappropriate than the last. _Hey Bill, you look handsome in a suit. Bill, let me sit on your face. Damn it Bill, don’t be so hot if you’re not going to fuck me._

Natalie gave up, puffing out her cheeks with an extended exhale and flicking her wrists.

“Nervous?” Bill flashed a wide smile and she looked up into his cobalt eyes. _Right, dummy. He has anxiety, too._

“Yeah.” Nodding, Natalie let her arms fall. “I hate this shit.” Indicating the stage with her head, she rolled her eyes. “People talk about looking forward to these things, but I’d rather be in bed with a book.”

Grinning, Bill tilted his head. “What are you reading?”

“Oh, um…” Shrugging, Natalie held up her hands. “ _Nine Hundred Grandmothers_ by R.A. Lafferty.”

 _Good taste._ “Nice.” Bill closed his eyes, nodding appreciatively. “I love that one.”

“Me too.” Natalie tried to restrain her smile. “How about you?”

“ _Lincoln in the Bardo._ Saunders. Again.” Rolling his eyes, Bill stuck his tongue out of the corner of his mouth, wobbling his head, rewarded when Natalie laughed. _Beautiful._

Composing herself, Natalie’s eyes lingered over his chiseled features. _Damn…_ Natalie tore herself away and sighed at the stage. “Ugh, this is gonna suck.”

Nose flaring, Bill bobbed his head. “Yeah. Not excited to go out there and tell these ‘jokes’.” 

Natalie tittered. “Yeah. They’re really awful aren’t they?” Nodding in agreement, Bill clasped his hands behind his back to hide his constantly compelled fingers. “It’s even worse for you though, I bet.” Giving him a half smile, Natalie lifted a shoulder. “Everyone expecting you to be funny all the time.”

“Yeah…” Eyes widening, Bill shook his head. “It can be...a lot.” 

_Damn, that must be hard for him. But Bill’s so sweet, I bet he just puts up with people annoying the shit out of him all the time._ Her green eyes met his, expression surprisingly thoughtful as Bill looked down at her. “I imagine.” Falling quiet for a moment, Natalie exhaled. “Me well, pretty much all I have to do is…” Natalie glanced down at herself and held out the fabric of her skirt. “Show up and try not to look terrible.” 

“Well, you’re doing a pretty good job.” _Shit._ Bill realized what he said half a moment after it slipped out of his pink lips, eyeing her cautiously.

Hoping her face wasn’t as red as her dress, Natalie found she couldn’t look directly at him. “Oh. Thank you.” One presenter before them, Natalie chewed her lip, staring as the other two actors approached the podium. “So, um…” Natalie turned to Bill, smile teetering. “How much trouble do you think we’d get into if we just bailed right now?”

 _Is she asking what I think she’s asking?_ Crooked, goofy grin spreading over his face, Bill shrugged his broad shoulders. “Probably a lot.” Folding his pink lips under, Bill rocked back and forth on his heels, hesitating. “Would be worth it, though.”

Natalie smiled, locking into Bill’s dark blue eyes for half a moment before their names were called and they took the stage. On reflection, Bill suspected pairing them together was a ploy by the network for ratings due to the falling viewership of award shows. By the time they were done, as with previous instances, Bill hadn’t the faintest idea what he said. But people laughed, and Natalie had a surprisingly sly hand at comedic timing, so he supposed it wasn’t a total disaster as they exited to the wings.

Bouncing on her toes, Natalie shook out her limbs, tossing back her crimson tresses. “Fuck, glad that’s over with.” As enjoyable as it was having a legitimate excuse to be in proximity of Bill, and even if he wandered away from her as soon as he could, Natalie was relieved to be past the pressure of presenting. Normally she couldn’t bear to watch herself on screen, but she might have to break that rule whenever a video of this popped up, simply to see if the chemistry she experienced as they opened the envelope was in her imagination.

“Yeah, me too.” Bill nodded, rolling his neck. “These things are just...rough.”

“Yeah…” Pausing, Natalie examined Bill, poised beside her in his trim cut black suit, stretching his expansive shoulders back, face sporting the exact right amount of stubble. _Fuck it._

“Hey Bill, um…” Unable to stop herself wringing her hands, Natalie chewed the inside of her cheek. “Would you want to...get together sometime? Maybe?”

Bill’s eyes darted from side to side, flush blooming over his pale skin as a tiny smile etched its way onto his face. “Yeah. Yeah, I’d like that.”

“Great.” Natalie hoped she didn’t sound too eager as she nodded. “So, um...should I give you my number? I don’t…” Looking down at her dress, she chuckled. “There’s nowhere to put a phone in this thing.”

“Yeah, it doesn’t look like it.” Failing to catch himself again, Bill tightened up, but the smirk that appeared on Natalie’s plump lips reassured him as he fished his phone out of his pocket. Natalie giving him her number, Bill nodded. “Thanks. Alright, well. I’ll call you soon then?”

“Sounds good.” Holding out her hand, Natalie grinned. “It was nice meeting you, Bill.”

Bobbing his head, Bill enveloped her fingers and smiled. “You too, Natalie.” 

Natalie’s heels clicked their way toward the staircase to return to her table and, mesmerized by her switching hips, Bill snatched at impulse. “Hey Natalie?”

“Yeah?” Turning around, she paused with her hand on the railing and Bill approached.

“Hey, so…” Eyes on the ceiling, Bill took a shuddering breath. “I never eat at these things. At least not when I have to get on stage. Too nervous. Would you want to, um…” Lips folded and hands clasped, Bill’s expressive eyebrows knit together. “Go get some food? After this? Maybe?”

Beaming, Natalie nodded. “Yeah, definitely. I’m famished, actually. Didn’t eat much, you know. For the stupid dress.”

“Yeah, I bet it’ll be nice not to have to worry about wearing it after.” _Shit. Shit. Shit._ Gleaning his own double entendre, Bill’s sculpted jaw dropped open and he held up his hands apologetically. “I mean...not...I…”

Natalie laughed, shaking her head, fingers lightly grasping Bill’s elbow. “It’s fine. I know what you meant, Bill.” 

Settling, Bill grinned and bobbed his head. “Okay. Sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Natalie glanced back toward the tables. “So...do you want to text me? When we’re done with all the bullshit and try to find each other outside? I have my phone back in my purse.”

“Yeah.” Bill nodded. “Sounds good.”

“Alright.” With a tiny wave, Natalie descended the stairs and smiled. “See you then.”

The rest of the awards proceeded, during which Bill hopped to the stage again to accept one for Best Director, finding himself oddly proud when Natalie floated forward three categories later for Best Actress, her quirky speech leaving him giggling before the night came to a close. Bill slogged through the follow up interviews, a handful of which asked him if this was his first time meeting Natalie. _Hopefully not the last._ Bill thought, gripping his award and hoping to make a hasty escape. 

Finally approaching the line for the cars, Bill texted Natalie. With her A-list status, Bill thought she might get tied up even longer than he did, but it was less than five minutes before she responded saying she was on her way. Soon a breathless Natalie jogged up to him, incredibly agile in her heels, and tucking an errant red tendril behind her ear.

“Okay, I’m ready.” 

“Great.” Bill nodded. “Did you want to take my car then?”

Natalie agreed and Bill alerted his driver, holding the door for Natalie as she hoisted the hem of her skirt to climb inside. Sighing with relief, Natalie rested her head back on the seat. “Damn, it feels good to get out of there.”

Sitting down the slit in her dress completely exposed her left leg and Bill dragged his eyes back up to her face. “Yeah, it sure does.”

“Where to, sir?” The driver peered in the rearview mirror and Bill turned to Natalie, raising a dark eyebrow.

“Hey, do you just…” Hands aloft, Natalie made a face. “I really don’t feel like having any more people stare at me tonight. Want to just hit a drive thru or something?”

Admiring her lack of pretention, Bill grinned. “Yeah, that sounds great. Any preferences?”

“Ugh, I have been hankering for fish tacos for some reason.” Natalie clenched a hungry fist and Bill giggled. 

“Alright. I know a good place.” Natalie nodded and Bill told the driver. As they peeled away, Los Angeles scenery flashing by the windows, Bill was hyperaware of the distance between them on the seat, Natalie’s fingers inches from his own.

“Congratulations, by the way.” Natalie faced him, casting her eyes down at the award between his feet before they slowly climbed his tall frame.

“Oh, thank you.” Bobbing his head, Bill smiled. “You too.” 

“Thanks.”

Interlacing his fingers in hopes they would stop moving, Bill’s thumbs continued to rattle against each other. “I’ve been watching the new show, it’s um….I love it.” Bill nodded, peeking at her out of the corner of his cobalt eyes.

“Really?” Natalie flashed a radiant smile. “Wow, thank you. That means a lot coming from you. I think _Barry_ is probably my favorite show on TV right now. It’s brilliant.”

“Aw, well…” Tipping his head from side to side, Natalie found his humble dismissal of his immense talents endearing as Bill’s wide mouth cracked a smile. “Thank you.”

Pulling into the drive-thru, they ordered three tacos apiece, balancing them on their lap after Natalie gave the driver her address. “Mmm…” Sinking her teeth into the first one, Natalie emitted a drawn out moan of contentment that nearly made Bill drop his taco in his lap. “Sorry.” Natalie held a hand in front of her mouth as she chewed, shaking her head. “I’m probably going to spill on this fancy ass dress, but I don’t care. Too hungry.”

Bill giggled as he took a large bite. “That’s okay.” He muttered after he swallowed. “I spill on everything. There must be a dozen interviews of me out there wearing stained t-shirts like a bum.” Rolling his eyes at himself, Bill shook his head. “I always say, if you see me without food on my clothes, I apologize for misrepresenting myself.”

Laughing, Natalie paused before picking up her second taco. Teeth catching her lip, she examined Bill and raised a timid hand to thread his lapel through her fingers. “You clean up pretty nice, though.”

Sharp jaw rolling slowly, Bill’s eyes bounced from her face to her hand. “Thank you…”

With a small nod Natalie retracted her arm, the two of them eating in silence for a moment, Natalie peering momentarily over at a munching Bill, Bill’s gaze sneaking for a second to a swallowing Natalie.

“So, I…” Natalie began as she lifted her third taco. “I saw that interview you did recently, where, um…” Swallowing, she studied her food. “Where they were pestering you about me and...I liked what you said.”

“Oh, well…” Bill shrugged his mountainous shoulders, setting down his last two bites. “No problem.” Rubbing his fingertips together, Bill cleared his throat. “I...what you said, it um…”

“Fuck, I’m so sorry, Bill…” Natalie hid her face behind her hand. “I...that was so stupid. Just embarrassing. And disrespectful. I shouldn’t have--”

“Oh, Natalie, I…” Fingers touching her forearm, Bill giggled. “I was going to say I...well…” Deep blue eyes moving away, Bill let go of her. “I liked it, too.”

Natalie blinked at him, dumbfounded as Bill finished the rest of his meal. “You...did?”

Wiping his mouth, Bill nodded and waited to swallow before responding. “Yeah, it was, um…” Bagging up his garbage, Bill resolutely kept his focus on his own hands, voice low. “Pretty sexy.”

“Oh.” No longer concerned with her taco, Natalie’s heart punched against her chest cavity as she adjusted herself on the seat. “Well, I, um…” Looking out the window, she gnawed the inside of her cheek. “I meant what I said.”

Bill’s head whipped around so quickly he heard his neck crack. Natalie faced away from him, mouth tight and fingers crinkling the fast food wrapper in her lap. Scooting closer, Bill inched his hand toward her until it rested a hair’s breadth from her hip. “Natalie, could I...kiss you?”

Turning, Natalie shoved the remainder of her food in the bag at their feed and nodded urgently. “Yes.” 

Mouths meeting, Natalie cupped Bill’s stubbled jaw as his big hand fisted into her crimson hair, Natalie’s lips parting under his gentle pressure, heads tilting to deepen the kiss as their tongues twirled. Humming with delight, Natalie’s fingers threaded into his chestnut waves as her knees turned to him, Bill lowering a hand to her waist, strong fingers delicately urging her near as he licked into her mouth. Natalie lifted her exposed leg over his and Bill grasped her creamy thigh, tugging until she hurriedly moved the excessive fabric out of the way to straddle him. 

Draping her arms over his broad shoulders, Natalie’s fingers dipped below the back of his shirt collar, the hair on Bill’s neck standing up in excitement as she rolled her hips and he sensed the heat between her legs. Bill’s sizable hands gripped her hips, pelvis rising needily as his rough chin chafed over her soft cheek, Bill breaking away to kiss down Natalie’s neck.

“ _Bill…_ ” Touching her lips to the corner of his sculpted jaw, Natalie ground down, the evidence of his unfurling erection shockingly apparent as she wasn’t able to wear any panties with the form-fitting gown.

“Alright folks…” Bill and Natalie froze, eyes meeting in alarm before they both looked guiltily to the driver. “First stop.”

“Um…” Polishing his sharp cheekbone, Natalie studied Bill’s face, lowering her voice. “Do you want to come inside?”

“Yeah.” Bill nodded eagerly and Natalie dismounted. “Actually, we’re...we’ll both get out here. Thank you.” Giving him a generous tip and doing what he could to hide the evidence of his excitement with his jacket, Bill hoped the driver was discreet as he followed Natalie to her front door, too polite to leave their garbage in the backseat so he crumpled it anxiously in his large fist.

Once inside, Natalie shed her heels, twisting her fingers as she led him into the house. “Did you want something to drink? Um...water? Juice?” 

Slowly setting the fast food bag on her counter, Bill shook his head. “Nope.” Eyes staring. Air thrumming. Twitch of a lip. Flick of a finger. Natalie and Bill smashed into each other, Bill mindful of damaging her expensive dress, instead taking her face in both of his large hands as Natalie greedily pawed at him, appetite of their mouths insatiable as murmuring noises of lust squeaked from between their joined lips.

“Bedroom?” Natalie breathed, loosening Bill’s bowtie.

Nodding exuberantly, Bill flipped her skirt aside, hooking his palms under her legs and hoisting Natalie into the air. Wrapping her legs around his waist with a joyous squeal, Natalie clung to his vast shoulders. “Where?” Bill licked his lips, looking around.

“Upstairs.”

Bill bobbed his head, effortlessly hauling her up the staircase in his powerful arms, the ride on his broad frame making Natalie exhilaratingly wet as they ascended. On the landing, Bill glanced around curiously and Natalie pointed to the second door down with a chuckle. “Got it.” Carrying her past the threshold, Bill placed her feet on the floor as though she were made of glass, Natalie’s bunched skirt giving him a flash of her shaved pussy before the fabric tumbled to the ground. 

Capturing her mouth, Bill snuck a finger beneath the halter of her dress. “Can I take this off?” Bill separated from her and Natalie nodded, lips parted and skin flushed. Walking around her, Bill undid the knot at the nape of her neck and in an instant Natalie was naked before him. Not an image on a screen, but real, breathing flesh.

Except, Bill blinked down curiously as she turned around, for two smooth, beige patches on her breasts. “Oh.” Natalie looked at her pasties. “Hang on.” As she peeled them away, Bill grimaced, but it didn’t seem to phase her.

“Wow…” Shaking his head, Bill encircled her waist. “I am constantly reminded of just how fucking tough women are. Pretty sure I’d be screaming like a baby.” 

Laughing, Natalie tossed them away before pushing Bill’s jacket off his expansive shoulders. Linking their lips, Natalie ripped his bowtie free as Bill toed off his shoes, walking her backward to the bed as she tore down one side of his suspenders. Backs of her knees hitting the mattress, they collapsed together with a grunt, Bill’s wide palm massaging her breast as Natalie opened her legs beneath him. Fingers flying down the crisp front of his shirt, Natalie revealed Bill’s firm chest, caressing him with an adoring sigh as Bill shrugged out of his sleeves, rotating his burgeoning erection into her through his slacks.

Climbing back further on the bed, Natalie encouraged Bill to follow, hurriedly undoing his zipper before Bill shuffled off his pants and boxers, moaning into her mouth when his raw cock glided through the slick lips of her pussy.

Leaving her lips, Bill’s mouth moved over the sensitive skin below her ear, dragging lightly with his rounded teeth. “You want me to fuck you, Natalie? Hmm?”

“Oh fuck, _yes!”_ Rocking against him, Natalie wound her fingers into his dark locks with a desperate nod. “Please.”

Bill shifted his weight, stiff cock perched on her ivory thigh as his hand cascaded down her body, pausing below her navel. “You want me to play with you first? Hmm? Would you like that?” 

Stubble scraping her skin as Bill kissed over her collarbone, Natalie lifted her hips in hopes of drawing him near. “ _Yes!_ Please. _Fuck!”_ Dipping between the lips of her pussy, Bill traced her clit with cruel precision, one lengthy fingertip circling until Natalie was drenched and needy. Huffing, she swallowed. “ _Bill!”_

“Mmm...yeah, you like that?” Bill swiped directly over her swollen clit and Natalie’s muscles leapt, a high note of euphoria breaking from her lips. “Does that feel good?”

“Yes.” Natalie wedged her arm down, seeking Bill’s massive cock, only for his strong hand to close around her wrist and pin it over her head. “So good, Bill.”

Fiddling faster, Bill couldn’t resist gyrating against her hip as Natalie’s moans echoed throughout the room. Bill twisted his wrist, penetrating her with two long fingers and curving up until he met the cluster of nerves. “How about that? Hmm?” Thumb rubbing her clit, Bill raised his head, bottom lip folded under as he scanned her distorting face. “You like that? Huh, Natalie?”

“ _Oh fuck! Bill! Yes! Yes!”_ Writhing, Natalie’s eyelids fluttered and she clenched around him, Bill grinning as a tremulous shriek escaped her.

“Mmm…” Slowing his hand, Bill shuffled down, tongue flicking over her nipple and kissing the hardened nub before sucking it into his mouth. “You want me to taste you, Natalie? Hmm? Would that feel good?”

Breathless, Natalie helplessly pet her hand over Bill’s head. “ _Uh-huh...yeah...fuck_ …”

Bill descended, purposeful hands touching and mouth greedy until he parked between Natalie’s legs. Fingertips trickling down the length of her sopping slit, Bill spread her open before diving forward with his sharp jaw.

As Bill consumed her, tongue voracious and moaning, he was struck by how the real Natalie differed from the two dimensional, fantasy Natalie he’d concocted in his mind over the past weeks. It was as if Bill manufactured a coin of Natalie, shiny and hard and arguably valuable. But upon closer inspection, the living Natalie’s currency possessed a ruffled edge, Bill peeling it away to reveal the choicest chocolate, unctuous and containing layers of delectable flavors, a far more luxurious treasure.

Sure, Bill knew Natalie was beautiful. But he wasn’t familiar with that line, that tiny, niggling line that formed between her auburn brows as she worried, mouth a pout and green eyes heavily bearing self doubt with which Bill was all too familiar. Before today, Bill had no earthly idea of that line, nor how it would prod his strong arms and his tender heart, aching to hold her, to comfort.

And Bill wasn’t proud of it, but before encountering Natalie, he had his doubts about her depth. Yes, she could portray fascinating people on the silver screen, but that didn’t mean she would be even mildly interesting in person. For Natalie to be well spoken, literary, and attentive in conversation is what truly started to animate not the concept of Natalie in Bill’s thoughts, but the authentic, precious Natalie who thrashed beneath his ministrations and screamed above his head.

“ _Bill! Fuck! Yes! Don’t stop!_ ” Natalie’s heels scuttled over his wide back as she tore at Bill’s dark locks, his pink lips inhaling her clit rapaciously as his scratchy cheeks left her fused thighs raw.

Somehow her body jumped on a trampoline of irresistible desire. Everytime Natalie thought she fell, tumbled, that Bill couldn’t possible coax another orgasm from her quaking, sweating form, she bounced. Aloft with heady euphoria, limbs flailing and mouth agape, airborne and weightless in the rush of Bill’s buoyant talents.

Emerging, Bill drew his forearm across his face, kissing a curving path up to Natalie’s panting mouth before resting his reassuring weight on top of her. “Natalie…” Voice an alluring whisper, Bill combed back her damp red strands, touching her cheek with his soft pink lips and coming away salty. “Do you want me to fuck you?”

Catching a breath, Natalie’s fingers danced over his scalp and she lost herself in Bill’s deep blue gaze. “Yes.”

“Do you have a condom?” Bill glanced around. “I, well…” Smiling, Bill shrugged the shelf of his shoulders. “I wasn’t exactly planning on running into you or well...any of this.”

Chuckling, Natalie nodded. “Yeah, here.” Sitting up, she retrieved a condom from the bedside stand and handed it to him with a smile. 

Rolling it down, Bill positioned himself at her entrance and looked to Natalie’s face. “Ready?”

“Yes.” 

Bill tipped forward, pressured heat absorbing his thick cock as Natalie gasped, fingers clutching at his firm arms whilst Bill uttered a reverberating groan. Hand slithering between them, Bill began fiddling Natalie’s clit as he fused their lips together, hips swiveling as they whipped themselves into a rhythm.

 _Never meet your heroes._ The phrase sounded in Natalie’s consciousness and, were she not in the throes of divine ecstasy, she would’ve laughed. Natalie realized that her almost idolatrous attraction to Bill would likely settle in a more grounded place sometime in the near future if they continued to see one another. Though Bill exceeded her expectations in arenas she couldn’t have dreamed, he was human.

There would come a day when Bill would disappoint her, when he would forget something Natalie needed, or say something that toed the lines traced by her history, her identity. It was inevitable. Bill was no faultless deity. No shining golden god gracing her with his presence, but a man, and Natalie hoped she would come to learn his faults, his shortcomings, and if she was fortunate, perhaps they would correspond to her own.

There would come a day when they would fight. Arguing not her forte, Natalie envisioned them anxiously tiptoeing around their problems and each other, prone to letting things fester if they weren’t careful, both needing to be conscious, intentional about things like communication, confrontation, setting hectic schedules aside and taking the time to be thoughtful.

But as Bill came to one knee, tugging her thigh over his hip, cock pounding, breath rushing, his stunning sapphire eyes inches away as his pink lips whispered, _“Fuck...Natalie, you feel so good…”_ she allowed herself to enjoy the fulfillment of dozens, perhaps hundreds of nights’ (and frankly, any other time of day) worth of fantasies.

“ _Bill! Yes! Fuck me! Just like that!”_ Natalie cried, slamming her pelvis into him shamelessly, nails grazing his broad back as her body flickered around his hammering cock. Curling in the upstroke, Bill hastened his pace, racing over her engorged clit until Natalie screamed his name and seized.

Snaking an arm underneath her, Bill held Natalie’s face to himself, claiming her lips, smothering her irrepressible ardor with his mouth as he pummeled her vigorously, heat closing in as Natalie broke from him with a shriek. “ _Bill!”_

Bill emitted a tinkling whimper as her throbbing overwhelmed him, extending his long legs and surging forward until his pelvis irregularly jerked above her like a dancer who didn’t know the steps. “ _Oh fuck! Fuck! Nat! Yes! I’m gonna cum! Fuck! FUCK!”_ Flexing in silence, Bill gripped the sides of Natalie’s head until a series of grunting whines sprang from his built chest, Bill nailing Natalie to the bed again. And again. And again, before a creeping shiver scurried through him and he fell limp.

Lungs trying to function normally again, Natalie combed her fingers through Bill’s hair, black with sweat, kissing the angle of his crisp jaw before he tucked into her, mouth wearily moving over the dewy skin of her neck.

Awash in erotic delirium, reality gradually came into focus and Bill laced their lips together briefly, caressing Natalie’s cheek with a smile before excusing himself to throw away the condom. Upon his return, Natalie splayed herself over Bill’s strong, supple body, fingers trickling through his dark chest hair as he traced the line of her curves. 

As Bill began to drift, arm growing lazy and eyes falling closed, Natalie chuckled against him. “What?” Bill blinked, grinning and giving her waist a squeeze.

“Oh, nothing.” Natalie shook her head. “I just never thought making an ass of myself on TV would actually work out in my favor. Usually I regret not keeping my big mouth shut.”

Tipping up Natalie’s chin as they held one another close, Bill smiled. “I’m glad you didn’t.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read! If you enjoyed this story, please leave a comment or come say hi on tumblr at fandomtransmandom. I also take requests!


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